I didn’t know I could shed so many tears,
Until an ocean of saltwater flooded my bathroom.
I didn’t know that I could hurt so badly,
Until this pain in my chest left me wailing on the floor.
I didn’t know that I could keep breathing without him,
Until his presence in me was violently removed.
I didn’t know that a person could stare at a wall for so many hours,
Until it was midnight and I felt no sense of passing time.
I didn’t know the hollowness of raw heartbreak,
Until I witnessed the bleak crater it left in my chest.
I didn’t know the true act of surrender,
Until I was forced to fall on my hands and knees.
I didn’t know a lot of things,
Until the day I lost him and began falling,
I didn’t know how to trust that there was a bottom,
Until I heard his small whisper in my ear, Make it Count.
I don’t know when I will find bottom,
But I have his last words there to lend me some faith that there is one.