I Didn’t Know

2015-12-04 00.18.03

I didn’t know I could shed so many tears,

Until an ocean of saltwater flooded my bathroom.

I didn’t know that I could hurt so badly,

Until this pain in my chest left me wailing on the floor.

I didn’t know that I could keep breathing without him,

Until his presence in me was violently removed.

I didn’t know that a person could stare at a wall for so many hours,

Until it was midnight and I felt no sense of passing time.

I didn’t know the hollowness of raw heartbreak,

Until I witnessed the bleak crater it left in my chest.

I didn’t know the true act of surrender,

Until I was forced to fall on my hands and knees.

I didn’t know a lot of things,

Until the day I lost him and began falling,

And falling,

And falling,

Endlessly falling.

I didn’t know how to trust that there was a bottom,

Until I heard his small whisper in my ear, Make it Count.

I don’t know when I will find bottom,

But I have his last words there to lend me some faith that there is one.