Standing on a shoreline, waters teasingly crash in and out, in and out. Sand fills the space between my toes-rough, discomfort. I feel it. I know I am here. Clear skies, a bright deep blue. Their color is a gift. My lips turn upward and my chest is heavy. I am static wishing to leap forward. I try but the sand, is like cement. It grabs at my ankles. It is unbreakable. I am locked in it, trapped.
The waters are speckled with a thousand diamonds. The waves rise and fall with opportunity and promise. Out, far among, far within the depths is where possibilities unfold. I know because when you are surrounded, thrust into a place too rough to stay afloat, it is there that one learns to swim, learns to survive.
Then a great wall of water rushes towards me. It rumbles like thunder and flashes with lightning. Not the deep blue that the waters once were but now dark and menacing. I want to run, but I am trapped. I want to scream, but I have no voice. Then, with an intensity words cannot describe the wall crashes down on me. It suffocates me. I am pulled outward.
As quickly as the impact came, it ends. The wave, once so dark, so strong dissipates and I am left in the depths where I always wished to be. Never been out before, I began to panic. I began to sink. Down. Down. Down. Things begin to get dark once more. Still no voice, I cannot scream out.
Powerful, calloused, large appears shining above me. I reach out and find a rush of peace. Upward I am pulled and I break the surface. Until I can see the blue diamond waters all around me, until I can bask in the brilliance of the sun above. Now at the surface, the waters move with me, not against. Up and down I rise and fall. One by one I am now able to invite other, the one’s I love still stuck on shore to join me. Together we begin to live in the depths where possibilities unfold.
Intuition becomes me guide and acceptance keeps me afloat. I keep a firm grip on that strong hand and never let go. No longer does hate and darkness control me. No longer am I a prisoner to the sand, a victim to the waves. I am able to speak again, feel again, hear again, and find within me to truly love. Life is starting to have a direction, a purpose, a future. Each moment I have the choice between light and dark. Peace is slowing finding me. Peace is slowing filling me. These things show me, I am beginning to know my meaningful life.